The Day I Dreamed About You. (Someday Dreamer)


Listen well.

You might don’t know who I am—yes, indeed, I did either, I did not know you personally—I only see you beyond the stage, standing still yet shine so bright over the lights. You don’t even know whether I live or not. It strange, you know, but what will be, will just be. As the title said;

Lee Jinki, I’ve dreamed about you. So—damn—many times.

Rather saying this is such weirdo, I prefer to call it miracle.

I remembered well—your presence still lingers in my mind, though you were just fantasy-soul, floating-wishes deep down inside, overly high-dreams or whatsoever—you felt so real. Too real to be trusted, too sweet to be true, too hard to be pursued. In my dreams we were best friends and lover, you told me secrets as I whispered back to you, we shared our little worlds—exchanging feelings only by gazes, smiles, touches. We were holding hands, tightly, squeezed it sometimes, scared likely to lost each other. I could embrace the warmth coming along with your hugs; you pulled me into your chest, and suddenly I felt so fragile and small—and being in your arms was very calming. You were a perfection. You were just… everything.

Lee Jinki, you’ve been corrupting my mind like smokes filling smoker’s lungs. Damn, I said to myself, it was a dream. No more.

As I held your hands and you were holding mine, we ran over the grass—let the wind swept away our gloom only in a sway. You told me silly jokes, all that gag actions then you admit that you are clumsy, that you don’t deserve me. What the hell, I said, I thought, it supposed to be my line, Jinki. You’re just too adorable, too bright, too precious to be disclaimed as mine and mine only. There, you laughed joyously, making the sun lose its confidence because your smile is much brighter than anything.

Thus, I remained myself God-knows how many times—it wasn’t real. You weren’t real, and it pissed me off.

And you disappear, nowhere to be found. So this is the way you left me, I know. Not even a single goodbye given, not bye-bye waves, nothing. Poof, and everything is  back to the reality. Anyway, you are just a dream, should be ended up like this. Sooner or later. I knew it—I noticed it, but I chose to deny it.

Back to the world I’m living in, there’s no more you—no more your shining smiles brighten my days, no more hasty-toned laughs, no more lullabies accompanied my bedtime. We are foreigners. Unlabelled.

Would you wait? I begged to the empty spaces which used to be yours—I heard your voice, you said—no, you hissed by the air, I will, if only you could find me. I yelled, Where?

Your shadow pointed to your heart. To my heart. That, is the end of my dreams.

Lee Jinki, you were such a dream—and you succeed in making me being such a dreamer.

..the pathetic--cheesy one, because I always dream even when I know it can’t be true.

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This is one-sided feeling—while everybody loves you, maybe some of them in the same way as mine.


 
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