Just Go Bald, Kurosaki!

46th Post

2011-07-07T12:55:00.000+07:00

It's almost a year since the last time I posted some unreasonable crap. I've found my new sandbox so. Yes. I've got diarrhea today. My tummy hurts. Like. Oh my God.

45th Post

2010-10-28T09:53:00.002+07:00

lorelei, lorelie
lorelei, lorelie
angst
I’d never sing of love, if it does not exist.

Up until now, I, Kim Kibum—had sworn to myself that I never believe in love.

Little Kibum learned how to lie; how to keep pretending over anything. Twelve years ago; when he was seven and old enough to encode the fundamental fact that life wasn’t all about sunshine and flowers (and Disney, he thought, was the biggest liar ever for making those stupid happily-ever-after fairytales), he began lying.

Home and parents. First victims. Being the only child was probably the last thing he ever asked to God. The overly-high expectations, hard pressures—how Kibum wished to turn into superhuman or just idiotic type one, instead. Not that he wasn’t gifted with brilliant brain (he was even majoring English); but everyone had their limits. And when his hands started trembling, shivering, shaky to the death (I’m exhausted, save me, save me) at least home would promise some comforts. But it never did. It was so hellish that it could torn him away with fake smiley-face plastered on his mom’s, unpleasant low mumbles from his dad, anything.

Where is the love, the love, the love.

So the curtain opened. The stage was ready; and his dialogue would flow (Hi Mom, hello Dad, I am fine). Steady like river, yet heavy like copper.

Friends, school, girls—fuck them all. Teachers sucked. His life was no more than blue sad—cheesy—film. Plain grey. Sure, leaves are green and sometimes red or yellow on fucking frigid winter; sky is blue, though everything flashed on his mind would simply mean black and white. And so, Kibum stopped believing. He got his time wasted by building fences around his tiny-mini heart; guarding it perfectly.

Keep a straight face, a comfortable distance.

But Kim Jonghyun succeeded knocking those down.

Kibum wasn’t really sure how it worked on him. He just entered Minho’s main ballroom (the blasting music, the deafening speakers, everybody danced, sang, laughed) while a pair of eyes were directed on him. There was something—chemistry, name it, and suddenly they both exchanged smiles, giggles, nervous laughter. When Jonghyun fished a way to him, Kibum knew he had already trapped under the spell; he couldn’t climb up, he had lost. He found no way out.

The worse part? He couldn’t practically lie again.

They ended up ignoring the party somewhere out there, sitting on and old, dusky sofa in Minho’s private library. Taking seats, didn’t bother to talk further. What topics. Weather forecast. Earthquake. Tsunamis. Disasters. Corruptors. Traitors. Liars.

Minutes had passed.

You know something? Jonghyun leaned backward, flinging his brown bangs confidently. You are gorgeous.

Kibum stuffed his hands into his pockets, holding back a smile, muttering, Thank you. I know I am.

Oh, could it get any girlier than this.

And you know, I have a girlfriend. She’s so pretty, my Sekyung. Jonghyun added.

Kibum mentally stated, poking out his hands. As expected. Why don’t you go back to her side? She’s looking for you right now, perhaps.

Their fingers brushed slightly.

Jonghyun grabbed Kibum’s hand this time, made him feel overwhelmed and unstable. Kibum stiffened a bit, constantly questioning his mind, asking why why I can’t lie, don’t go, don’t go, stay, stay forever.

The older boy grasped it tighter without putting on a single glance on Kibum. I already have Sekyung, he repeated.

Kibum nodded solemnly. One step closer. Yes you do. Forever and always.

Then there they were, only an inch apart; hand-in-hand, parted with messy silence mixing with some crowds. Alone and prominent.

Call them drunkees, call it insane, whatever—of course Kibum didn’t want to be such backstabber (though he didn’t even have any idea who Sekyung was); Jonghyun wasn’t his from the very start.

Oh really. Somebody out there please tell him why their hands fitted like they were meant to be together or give him a rational explanation about how their heartbeats played on the same harmony, then.

Jonghyun rolled his head and it landed on Kibum’s shoulder. Squeezing their hands (I’ll never let go, what should I do, why it feels so wrong yet simultaneously right, fuck I don’t know, Kibum—I don’t know), his voice squeaked;

I have her, and she’s beautiful. But you too.

La la lie, Kibum. La la la lie.

Yes, she better be. No, she must be much more gorgeous than me. Finally, he made up lying.

As if on cue, Kibum could only follow Jonghyun, their heads met. Closing eyes, they fell into ponds of dreams. And the fingers stayed linking, sticking, leaving invisible fingertips on each palms, drawing clueless words.

I’ve got a tight grip on reality
but I can’t let go of what’s in front of me here
I know you’re leaving in the morning, when you wake up
leave me with some kind of proofs it’s not a dream

God, if this is only a one night stand dream; so be it.

Up until now I had sworn to myself
that I’m content with loneliness

Kibum had promised—when he woke up later, brows furrowed with confusion as he stared down on Jonghyun who was sleeping peacefully beside him (the party had ended; like Kibum cared)—the poker face would back to the place it belonged. What are they? Acquaintances. Who is Kim Jonghyun? Nobody.

(No, Kim Jonghyun is some kind of bastard who holds his heart and hangs it up to the high, high sky—close to the moon and sun and stars until Kibum can’t pick it back.)

And that was how Kibum’s world worked. He examined the other’s features expertly, carefully; hair, eyes, chapped lips, arms and short legs, before giving off one last bitter smile, fixed Jonghyun’s jacket and went on.

Kibum never looked back. Because the mask was now on, while the lies kept coming and gone.

Because none of it was ever worth the risk
But you are the only exception,
You are the only exception

It was the first time he knew what love was. It was the first time he recognized that Jonghyun’s hair was auburn, not brown, how his puppy eyes dimmed and sparkling and Kibum found sea of stars and it was total dark, his skin was a bit tan, and all hues were there. But it was also the last time he let his guard shattered astronomically in front of somebody else.

And Kibum didn’t lie about that.

44th Post

2010-10-14T08:51:00.000+07:00

This post will be unbelievably emotional.

I gotta emphasize the most fundamental fact: I'm glad those five sparkling boys coming over here (hello there, gantengs, enjoy tropic-ish indonesia and floody jakarta? :p) despite another fact that I have such bad luck so seeing them becomes something miraculously miracle (read: aka impossible dream) -- between reality and fiction, nevertheless, we're (I am) so close with them, and not being able to see them in person kinda makes me a bit dissapoint.

Thank God I can proudly say--I could stay rational during those chaos. All I wanna say is just keep healthy, do not force yourself too much, guys. See you next time :)

43th Post

2010-10-03T12:44:00.004+07:00

assumptions
PG-13
various pairings
You need to spell it out.

i.

Key (being The Almighty Key, he is) is always known as bumpy-jumpy, but somewhat seems to distant himself from the other members (I’m just trying to keep sane enough; I live with those bunches of idiots for ungodly hours, thank you, he retorts. No offense). In some past interviews, he did even say the members were not his families, not his closest friends, they were just, plainly, members. Damn that kissable lips which could spit out random thoughts (and surely, cruel words) without noticing the way Taemin flinches, a low sigh from Minho (a perfect ignorance is bliss action), Jonghyun tightens his fist—holding back his soon-to-be-exploded anger.

And Onew completely drowns in silence. But he understands.

Jonghyun clenches his teeth, while Taemin plasters a confused face. What is it now.

Onew approaches Key right away after recording sessions. Key’s there, sitting two meters apart from the three—as if saying those boys are contaminated with germs by the looks. Or stuffs like that. Off-make-up face. Nonchalant gaze. Still no smile.

Maybe they did something stupid and it annoyed him. Maybe he got over fight. Maybe he is just tired. Maybe they’re practically not a family, of the entire years they’ve been together. Maybes.

Onew doesn’t need maybes. All he needs is an efficient solve.

There is a lengthy, comfortless silence filled by the sound of gossiping noonas, flick-click Minho’s PSP by the time Onew reaches where Key is.

“Need someone to talk?”

Key peers over. The leader quirks an eyebrow, waiting for answers.

Key takes Onew’s delicate, puffy hands, and nods. They walk, holding hands.

It is what a leader supposed to do. Right?

--

ii.

“We made it, hyung!” Taemin runs, shouting all the way, “We made it! We win the main prize—damn this quiz show is too easy, piece of cake—we did it!”

The youngest of the group runs toward Minho, stretching his arm. Generally, Minho’s barely laugh. He does smiling most of the times, in a way that makes every girls in the world would die from heart-attack (okay, that is quite exaggerating), but it’s no more than a thin line curving, fitting perfectly on his lips. Who knows; ask the concept, ask the management, they told him to do so. To stay cool, being an Ice Prince. Minho knows he gets nothing to choose except obeying the rules.

But when Taemin moves closer, laughing breathlessly, Minho breaks the spell. He grins hugely, almost dorky, his doe eyes stun amazingly. He catches Taemin, hugs back and spins him. The fangirls start ooh-ing, wondering what is happening between them. Choi Minho never burst like that.

Say it because of his over-competitive self, or he’s enjoying the six digits that blinking through the big screen too much, or it could be—it because of Taemin.

He wins. Taemin hugs him happily. He should be happy.

Right?

--

iii.

“Wow,” Jonghyun chortled, “third times lucky. We win again.”

Key sniffs, pulling his trade-mark smirk again. “Happy now?”

Somehow Jonghyun doesn’t seem satisfied this time. Instead, he looks nervous while flinging the reward upside down. A bit similar to Jinki when the leader makes constipated face. “Of course I am. But actually, I have to do something if we win. I’ve promised.”

“Do what? Sprinting around SM office in nothing but briefs?” Key snaps out.

Jonghyun doesn’t bother to give the answer; he tilts his head, jerk back, bringing a simple peck to the boy’s high cheekbone. “I have to do this.” he grins.

Key stops talking, stops thinking. He’s too busy counting how many minutes more until they back to the dorm so he can skin Jonghyun alive. It’s a valuable payment for him. Best friends don’t kiss each other. A best friend Kibum shall have doesn’t give him flutter feelings and butterflies flying in his stomach. A best friend can’t make him feels like a thirteen-years-old in a crush.

Right?

--

OMAKE

Onew : Okay, you lost the bet, Jjong. Because of my gentle affections, they like Onkey better. I found about 500 Onkey fanfictions.

Jjong : No hyung. You look pitiful, that’s why they wrote Onkey. Besides, Jongkey fanfictions are way too cool to compare with. They’re professionals.

Taemin : Nononono, you guys—lookie there? As far as I can see, only fanfictions tagged 2min which appear recently on the sites. It means I am the winner. Good job, Minho-hyung!

Minho : I don’t swing that way, oh God. Taemin, you start becoming like them. It’s horrible.

Key : GREAT. SO THIS IS A GAME, HUH? AND I’M THE GIRL, I ALWAYS BE. DO YOU GUYS WANNA DIE?!

Jjong : Easy, Momma. It’s fun, it’s just fan service. It’s not like you and I are really dating and, you know, do things like what they wrote—

Minho : Are you PMS-ing again, Key?

Key : YOU GUYS ARE GROSS. STAY AWAY FROM THE BEDROOM. SLEEP OUTSIDE—I DON’T EVEN CARE, JUST DIE FROM PNEUMONIA OR ANYTHING, BBANGKUS.

Onew : Hey but I’m leader—

Key : AND NO CHICKEN FOR A WEEK.

--

42th Post

2010-09-28T08:10:00.001+07:00

MY LIFE IS SO FUCKED UP.

Well, I'm practically saying that to myself--I've got none to be blamed. Seriously. This fucking annoying THIRD GRADE OF SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL PERIOD is killing me. Anytime soon, I'm sure. I was drowning myself in sea of books, tons of papers and hellish numbers, and the teachers, exams; damn-damn-damn I'm so fucking tired. I am fed up. I need some rest. No, an obvious and lots of rest.

I've no longer hooked up with him, but when I saw his name, and his surprising status just now, there's a huge knot knocking my whole heart down. I have nothing but its pieces here. I need and want to cry. I do.

Guh. What I really need right now is just shutting my mouth up.

40th Post

2010-08-24T10:15:00.004+07:00

He spinned his half-empty cup absent-mindedly, focusing on his daydreams, jumping and interguing. Sometimes he’d lean back lazily, other times with hands cupping around his beautiful face. The cafe he’s in would soon be closed, he knew it (since, well, it’s near 11 P.M—the tick sound seemed to move faster, though). Taking another sip, he threw his eyes away outside.

A man in black suit came after him. “Go home, Kibum.” He said hurriedly.

“Five minutes more,” Kibum rejected, send Minho ‘let me do as I please’ glare, “I’m a regular anyway.”

“It’s getting late. And dark.”

“What do you think city lights are for?”

“He won’t come, just give it up.” Minho sighed. “Kibum, please.”

“I stay.”

Minho wouldn’t dare doing any preventage actions or retort Kibum back—he would definitely lose, anyway. Despite the facts that he and Kibum had always been together (childhood – teen memorandum), and his perfection in every single thing Minho did; Kibum was still, beyond compare in arguments. And Minho could never beat that up. So he patted his shoulder comfortingly, losing for another round, then he dissappeared out of nowhere.

All Kibum wanted to do was waiting. He looked up, stare at his watch. 11 p.m.

Where are you? Kibum entertwined his fingers. Wishing in wishpers. You promised. You’d see me.

11.05.

He didn’t show up. The person Kibum was waiting for broke the vow. The tenth times in a decade.

Now Kibum was all alone again.

--

random scribbles.

39th Post

2010-07-21T08:46:00.003+07:00

feels like insomnia

feels like insomnia

PG-13

jongkey

fluff/bbf-ery

Insomnia wasn’t that bad, really.

It was cold, sleepless night. Kibum stared non-cahalantly, at nothing particular. Another strike, huh? He thought, let out a single blow escaped his lungs. He was used to it—he tried God-knows-how-many-times with several methods—hot milk, pills or even hypnotic, but it just never worked. He’d wake up on the next morning with black hole below his cheshire eyes, pale and fragile and weak.

It was totally sucks.

It’s not something new, he said to himself. Now he got to do something, at least to help him spending times. To wasted some times. So he climbed down from his bed, careful enough to not woke the others up. Following his natural umma sense; Kibum also made sure everything was under control—everyone was asleep. Next thing he knew, he couldn’t find Jonghyun on his usual place.

Kibum rubbed his eyes, sighed. That brat.

He stepped out and soon he felt chilly air toying him; unsteady, even, unsteady, even. He tilted his head, deciding he did not need any scarf or jacket at all, he was inside and it was more than enough to embrace him with warmth.

But Kibum couldn’t stand to figure out where this cool breeze did come from. He remembered locking the doors and windows—

—he saw Jonghyun.

Yeah, Kibum rolled his eyes, who else.

“It’s weird,” said Kibum, paused his steps when he reached Jonghyun, “you never told me you’re having insomnia too.”

“I’m not. It’s kind of rare case.” Jonghyun chuckled, “perhaps God wants me to stay awake so you can find me here.”

Cheesy as always. Kibum snorted hearing an unexpected state from him. “Excuse me? You aren’t lost or something. Wait, don’t tell me—are you drunk?” he shrieked in horror.

“There’s no way in hell I’d go drunk. If Sooman-sunbaenim ever find out, he’ll kick my ass for sure.” Jonghyun shot back.

The two remained silent, sinking into their deepest thoughts. Kibum sneaked a glance to the blonde, wondering what was wrong with him. Not to mention he cared or something; it was just—awkward. Jonghyun is always a talkative one, mood-swasher in the group. Kibum might be blatant in speaking, but sometimes the raven is an expert secret-keeper, best at pretending; while this man, namely Kim Jonghyun appreciates honesty more than anything. His passions, feelings and all that are reflected through his eyes, voice, pitch and gesture. He is just as subtle as neon sign. He can’t practically lie.

Truthfully, Kibum hated Jonghyun for some reasons. For being so goddamn lucky all the time, for being honest in every single way, for acting touch and put all the girls into shame when it comes to sensitivity.

He didn’t even know why they became friends on the first place.

Perhaps it wasn’t too hard for Kibum to keep pretending—that he envied Jonghyun so bad, lying over anything.

Lied about his feelings.

The blonde yawned. “Gonna back to sleep, I guess. See if Onew-hyung has already claimed my territory.”

Kibum blinked when Jonghyun grabbed his hand along as he left. He stood still, gave the blonde questioning look.

“What?” Jonghyun giggled, tickling their fingers. He grinned sheepishly. “Did I do something wrong?”

Childish as always.

“Smirk again and I’ll punch you. Right on the face.” Kibum smirked back.

He still hated Jonghyun no matter what (you never knew this fact, indeed—Kibum is a master at pretending, after all), he hated the way he grinned and how tight he held his hand.

But at least tonight he found out; once, having insomnia wasn’t that bad.

first jongkey fic. and fluff.

38th Post

2010-07-07T09:39:00.000+07:00

Can't see straight anymore.

Phew.

I still trapped in this shitty city--and it pissed me off, like fuck. Since I don't have any idea what to do--and the last thing comes to my mind is making fanfic draft over and over again--thanks God for my brilliant brain, where I keep most of my suspicious ideas--and it turns out to be like this:

(oh, and it's SHINee again. with a bit jongkey hints)

So Jonghyun is a suicidal (his unfortunate, he fail), Kibum has problem in getting along with people and is a born-with-wings creature, Jinki always get recognize as Taemin according to his mom's insanity, Taemin's just a half living soul who is trying so hard to save a little happiness in the corner of Jinki's heart, his brother, and Minho can see everything. Just everything; people's dreams, ghosts, spirits, atmospheres and hopes. Jonghyun becomes one of birds, Kibum dies when his dreams come to an end, Taemin disappears, Jinki goes home while Minho turns out to be the only one staying, sees the whole story happening around.

Cheesy as always.

Can't wait.

37th Post

2010-07-04T14:43:00.002+07:00

I LOVE JONGKEY. I LOVE JONGKEY. I LOVE JONGKEY. I LOVE JONGKEY. I LOVE JONGKEY. I LOVE JONGKEY. I LOVE JONGKEY. I LOVE JONGKEY. I LOVE JONGKEY. I LOVE JONGKEY. I LOVE JONGKEY. I LOVE JONGKEY. I LOVE JONGKEY. I LOVE JONGKEY. I LOVE JONGKEY. I LOVE JONGKEY. I LOVE JONGKEY. I LOVE JONGKEY. I LOVE JONGKEY. I LOVE JONGKEY. I LOVE JONGKEY. I LOVE JONGKEY. I LOVE JONGKEY. I LOVE JONGKEY. I LOVE JONGKEY. I LOVE JONGKEY. I LOVE JONGKEY. I LOVE JONGKEY. I LOVE JONGKEY. I LOVE JONGKEY.

it's just. yeah. can't help it. jongkey = marvelous. that's all. so sweet so romantic, foolish yet stupid all the time.

36th Post

2010-07-04T14:37:00.000+07:00

I know I'm definitely normal; I'm not a fujoshi nor yaoi fans.

But why do I kinda feel like Jongkey is astoundingly awesome? I mean; sometimes I'm questioning myself about it--they do show some skinships at any moments, people calls them best friends ever, and though I don't want to believe that (I resist to believe, to be exact)--they sort of, em, have reassurance to be called beyond besties.

Geez. I loose my insanity.

35th Post

2010-06-15T11:55:00.000+07:00

I feel like crying now.

I'm not such crybaby (but I'll be like one too when it comes to sad movies), but things turning so differently in a glance. I feel so powerless right now. Weak. A hole called 'hopeless' is trapping me--tie me with invisible chains, so tight I cannot move or breathe. I don't have any passion in writing stuffs. I questioned it because with those excuses, my fingers still move, dance happily upon the keyboard, typing these garbage.

I just... feel like crying now. So hard.

Someone please lend me your shoulders.

34th Post

2010-04-28T15:16:00.000+07:00

Red. Yellow. Blue. Black. White.

Among those colors--well, lemme see, none of these could represent my day.

Today was... gray. Yeah, totally gray.

Gray. Gray.

33th Post

2010-03-30T07:48:00.001+07:00

The Day I Dreamed About You. (Someday Dreamer)

Listen well.

You might don’t know who I am—yes, indeed, I did either, I did not know you personally—I only see you beyond the stage, standing still yet shine so bright over the lights. You don’t even know whether I live or not. It strange, you know, but what will be, will just be. As the title said;

Lee Jinki, I’ve dreamed about you. So—damn—many times.

Rather saying this is such weirdo, I prefer to call it miracle.

I remembered well—your presence still lingers in my mind, though you were just fantasy-soul, floating-wishes deep down inside, overly high-dreams or whatsoever—you felt so real. Too real to be trusted, too sweet to be true, too hard to be pursued. In my dreams we were best friends and lover, you told me secrets as I whispered back to you, we shared our little worlds—exchanging feelings only by gazes, smiles, touches. We were holding hands, tightly, squeezed it sometimes, scared likely to lost each other. I could embrace the warmth coming along with your hugs; you pulled me into your chest, and suddenly I felt so fragile and small—and being in your arms was very calming. You were a perfection. You were just… everything.

Lee Jinki, you’ve been corrupting my mind like smokes filling smoker’s lungs. Damn, I said to myself, it was a dream. No more.

As I held your hands and you were holding mine, we ran over the grass—let the wind swept away our gloom only in a sway. You told me silly jokes, all that gag actions then you admit that you are clumsy, that you don’t deserve me. What the hell, I said, I thought, it supposed to be my line, Jinki. You’re just too adorable, too bright, too precious to be disclaimed as mine and mine only. There, you laughed joyously, making the sun lose its confidence because your smile is much brighter than anything.

Thus, I remained myself God-knows how many times—it wasn’t real. You weren’t real, and it pissed me off.

And you disappear, nowhere to be found. So this is the way you left me, I know. Not even a single goodbye given, not bye-bye waves, nothing. Poof, and everything is back to the reality. Anyway, you are just a dream, should be ended up like this. Sooner or later. I knew it—I noticed it, but I chose to deny it.

Back to the world I’m living in, there’s no more you—no more your shining smiles brighten my days, no more hasty-toned laughs, no more lullabies accompanied my bedtime. We are foreigners. Unlabelled.

Would you wait? I begged to the empty spaces which used to be yours—I heard your voice, you said—no, you hissed by the air, I will, if only you could find me. I yelled, Where?

Your shadow pointed to your heart. To my heart. That, is the end of my dreams.

Lee Jinki, you were such a dream—and you succeed in making me being such a dreamer.

..the pathetic--cheesy one, because I always dream even when I know it can’t be true.

----

This is one-sided feeling—while everybody loves you, maybe some of them in the same way as mine.

32th Post

2010-03-27T13:36:00.000+07:00

Hiya, back. Again.

I ain't gonna use English this time--it's tiring and I'm not in my mood to post anything, by the way. But here I go, again, writing randomly, indeed, in English. There were three boys sabotating my room (they just showed like 'poof' last night and my Mom told me that I got to move--"They'll face the university entrance examinations, so would you please, without any complains, lend your room for 3 days?", she said, and all I did as I heard those words was dazed in amusing way yet 'unbelievable' face.

Which it means, I couldn't watch any vitamins (read; those amazing Korean boys) for about... 3 days or so. More or less. Poor me. Anyway, one of them is my brother and I don't mind sharing my room with him, but by any chance, I can't do what I'm willing to do freely anymore--see, I always wear shorts and you-can-see-my-armpit shirts.

It pissed me off. What the.

Plus, right now, the net-speed is kinda freakin' SLOW. :/

Goes to my dream. I know I'm a freak, HUGE fans of those pretty boys, and I personally can't help it. I was just seeing at their pics, their videos and their stuffs--and whoos, bibbidi-bobbidi-boo I fell in love with them. Once I admit it, it stuck with me, corrupting my mind with fabulous yet impossible fantasies hahaha--hash. And sometimes, it brought away, coming along in my dream.

I think it's normal for having you know, kinda hopes, that you are NOT you. You're imagining that you're someone else, creating 'her' own personality. Like a barbie doll, you can choose where 'she' lived, her activity, every single thing. You may dressed 'her' in any ways you like, make 'her' do what you wouldn't be able to do. Well, either did I.

I always thought I was someone named Sherry. LOL, I wanna share this characters but not now. Let's find a right time to talk about her.

Oh, back--I've dreamed about them many times. Like, when Junho from 2PM appeared inside, introducing me to the world as his wife (wow) and Wooyoung as my big brother (wow). Other--Nichkhun, yeah, that Thai Prince-wink vending machine--showed as my classmates and there was a ghost asked me to help her confessing her love to Nichkhun (wew) and lastly, last night, I dreamed being Onew's girlfriend and we were dating, JUST TWO OF US in cinema. He held my hand and--and, and, and, better not to tell further or else, shawol would be mad at me. It's just dream, DREAM. Peace.

Maybe it's just because recently I've been addicted to Lee Jinki, with his adorable voice and joyous personality, that tofu succeed making me melting hahaha :D

Now I understand perfectly why Jung Juri likes him.

31th Post

2010-02-12T14:55:00.000+07:00

Blog-kun, hisashiburi :)

I said I would try to post as many as possible, but the truth is, I can't stay online anytime anywhere (well, yeah, it becomes affordable if Vanyol bring her laptop). Oh, and again and again school has been hectic--those homeworks, papers, report of research, somehow I started to feel so gross.

Well, so what had happen to me lately?

Nothing changed.

I'm kinda addicted with 2PM-SHINee-Henry-HSJ (it's not a big news anyway--I've already told you about it thousand times) and suddenly I remembered Jaebeom. The Lead-ja. The best lead-ja ever, even for the 2PM themselves or the fans.

Well, I'll continue later. See ya :D

29th Post

2010-01-04T21:25:00.000+07:00

Post edisi ini--entahlah, mungkin karena aku sedang keranjingan membaca novel terjemahan atau apa, tapi kadang-kadang aku ingin menulis dengan gaya seperti ini.

---

Tema pokok hari ini adalah; tentang kekurangan. Orang bijak selalu berkata, "Sebaik-baik seseorang adalah mereka yang mampu menghargai diri sendiri dan mau mengakui kekurangannya."

Dan kupikir; terkadang SANGAT PERLU mengakui kekurangan dan JUJUR terhadapnya.

Penilaian objektif memang datang dari orang lain, hei, tapi coba tebak--kalau soal kekurangan, kukira aku masih bisa menilai diriku sendiri. Manusia tidak ada yang sempurna, kau tahu, yang ada--manusia hanya mampu mencoba untuk menjadi sesempurna mungkin, sekuatnya.

So these are the list >>

1. Cuek (dalam hal-hal tertentu--dan dalam hal tertentu lainnya, aku bisa jadi SANGAT PEDULI)
Apakah ini sifat genetis? Sepertinya tidak. Atavisme? Hm, mari kita lihat. Nenek dan kakekku sama sekali bukan tipe orang yang bisa membiarkan orang lain kesusahan. Ayahku sangat, sangat, protektif terhadap anak-anaknya. Ibuku cerewet. Well, kupikir itu sudah cukup membuktikan bahwa sifat yang kumiliki murni anugerah dari-Nya, dan... those facts don't matter.

2. ~~(Agak)~~ Jorok
Kalau yang satu ini, aku benar-benar yakin 100%--ini sifat genetis, alias turunan dari ibuku (beliau bahkan mengakuinya sendiri--sumpah, aku tidak bohong)--untuk ukuran perempuan, aku termasuk jorok. Hanya kadarnya bisa dikategorikan belum parah-parah amat, sih. Setidak-tidaknya aku menunjukkan ke-jorok-anku HANYA di rumah. Aku tidak mengupil di jalan atau apa, please. Paling-paling hanya lupa mengembalikan handuk ke jemuran 3 hari berturut-turut sebelum akhirnya ibuku berteriak dari bawah, "Ke mana semua handuk-handuk yang kubeli?"
Aku jadi berpikir ulang. Benarkah itu termasuk.. jorok? Kupikir aku cuma teledor.

3. Pintar Berbohong
Aku kembali mempertanyakannya--apakah ini termasuk kekuranganku? Maksudku--tidak selalu kebohongan itu diartikan sebagai sesuatu berkonotasi negatif--tergantung penggunaannya. Sebuah kebohongan kecil mampu menyelamatkan banyak orang. Dan aku mempercayainya. Coba saja deh.

4. Pelupa
Semua manusia pasti punya saat-saat di mana kemampuan sel otak mereka untuk menyimpan data-data berkurang. Hanya saja, dalam kasusku--frekuensinya terjadi lebih banyak. Aku begitu cepat mendengarkan sesuatu, menangkapnya, menyimpannya di otakku untuk kemudian menguap tiba-tiba. Ini menyusahkan, terutama bagi orang-orang terdekatku.

5. Tidak mudah berpaling (in this case, I mean--love)
Mendapat julukan playgirl, bagiku, lebih baik daripada punya pribadi macam ini--sulit melepaskan diri dari bayang-bayang orang lain. Serius nih, tapi aku termasuk tipe yang setia, dan bahkan meskipun orang itu sama sekali tak ingat aku, peduli setan denganku malah, aku akan tetap menyukainya.
Tunggu dulu.
Setelah kupikir, mendapat julukan playgirl juga tak ada untungnya.

6. Sangat suka bishounen
MASA BODOH DENGAN YANG SATU INI. Memangnya kenapa? Itu jelas-jelas urusan pribadiku. Sejauh ini tak ada lelaki yang mampu membuat aku berpikir hot, cute, cool, and awesome at the same time. Oh, satu keburukan yang kudapat dari sini; seleraku terhadap laki-laki jadi terlalu tinggi. Maaf.

------

28th Post

2010-01-03T11:10:00.000+07:00

Here. I. Go. Again.

Ada berita apa hari ini?

Jawabannya: nggak ada yang penting.

Dua hari lalu aku flashback ulang--hasil-hasil video waktu ex-bandku manggung, latian bareng di studio. Guess what? Damn, damn, damn, begitu liat orang itu--I lost control. Really. Felt like I was burst into tears, and I was trying sooo hard not to cry, at least not in front of my friends. I was being so unreasonable, and for God's sake, NIGA MIBDA. I hate it so much--getting irritable without knowing the reason why.

Sampe sekarang aku masih heran. Sebetulnya seberapa kuat sih pengaruh dia atasku? Bahkan sampe sekarang pun--setelah berbulan-bulan nggak bertatap muka, apalagi berkomunikasi dengan cara apapun, aku nggak pernah merasa kangen atau hal-hal semacem itu. Tapi hanya dengan liat fotonya, liat dia dari balik lensa kamera, atau video--seems like my heartbeat getting faster.

Can you feel my heartbeat?

The heart that you stepped all over and left is still beating
And it's beating for you

No matter how hard I try to forget
No matter how many new people I meet
Why do i keep thinking of only you when I turn around?
I don't want to do this anymore, I want to stop
No matter how many times I try and try to stop myself,
it's no use
My heart is broken.. why?

Why do I keep doing such foolish things
I know in my head, but why is my heart rebelling
I'm holding on to you and can't let go
It still feels like you're next to me
I can't believe in farewell

No matter who i meet, i can't open up one part of my heart and I keep your place empty
There's no reason for you to come back, but why do I keep thinking that you might come back?
Why isn't my heart listening?

Listen to my heartbeat (it's beating for you)
Listen to my heartbeat (it's waiting for you)
Don't i know that it's over, I don't understand why i'm like this
Listen to my heartbeat (it's beating for you)
Listen to my heartbeat (it's waiting for you)
It still hurts thinking of you
I think of you every time my heart beats

I have to forget, I have to forget in order to live
I have to erase it, if I don't, I'll die
Stop trying to get him back, he ain't coming
He's gone, gotta be moving on
He left, he won't come back, he doesn't think of you.

He doesn't know that I'm waiting for him, he's doing well
He already forgot about me, totally erased me.
Why can't I do that?

Listen to my heartbeat (it's beating for you)
Listen to my heartbeat (it's waiting for you)

My heart is beating faster and faster...

---Heartbeat, 2PM.

Then,

Does somebody know how to cure this pain?

---

Yah, itu cuma sebagian kecil dari berbagai cerita di liburan ini. Oh, aku baru aja balik dari liburan keluarga bersama-sama kawan sepermainan ke Dieng, Wonosobo, Purbalingga. Awalnya sih nggak begitu excited--tapi kadang harus aku akui, aku juga butuh liburan di alam luar, nggak cuma aku habisin di sekolah (rapat, dsb) atau di depan kompie (well, I'm doing this right now). Ahaha.

Oke. Better go now. Bye :)

27th Post

2009-12-28T15:31:00.000+07:00

Here I go again, posting in Vanyol's house.

I'm hunting SHINee's picture more and more. Can't stop m.yself, seriously

See ya :)

26th Post

2009-12-26T23:04:00.000+07:00

Back again. Hello there, guys.

So here I am, fulfill my promise posted 5 days ago to upload my (FAKE) family's member--(just take it easy, I don't mean it seriously) :3

Henry Lau

I fell in love with his ability in playing instruments and in facts, after I revealed how many awards he got and HOW GENIUS HE IS, I confess to the world--there's no one in hell can compare this adorable man. Proud to be his (fake) wifey :)

Minho

Super kid, best son ever, awesome, magnificent--just praised him because it suits him all, those compliments. The Ice Prince, who rarely talk but sometimes he acts crazily too, by any chance. I picked him as my eldest son--I don't know, for real he's Soo Young dongsaeng but I feel like he fits this potition. He's more like an eldest than Soo Young :D

Soo Young

Pretty, energetic as well. She's shorthaired now, I just cropped her last photos--I'll replace it with the new one, once I get much more time. Second kid, short-minded and selfish, but I love to put her on my only daughter potition. :)

Xi Lau

I bet--for you guys who are fans of Hey! Say! JUMP will directly realize who is this little guy--and right, just guess it by yourself--cause here, I'd rather take him as my youngest. Cute, I know. Chubby like his dad :D

What? I know it's totally pointless, and since I dunno what to do, I'm being pleasant for you, publishing my secret--(and fake, add this) family.

That's all for tonight. I'm gonna get some sleep. See ya ^^

25th Post

2009-12-23T19:05:00.000+07:00

God.

Oh My God. Tomorrow--yeah, right, TOMORROW, GUYS, it's gonna be the most thrilling day in the world, really. I'm going to receive my report book. I can't imagine how it would be looked like (since I feel I didn't put my best in each subject, except Japanese -_-) so I'm cooling down my head by listening to music, reading 2PM fanfics.

Anyhow, I started moving to K-Pop from J-Pop--since there was nothing to do with the Hey! Say! JUMP and no more news contain their condition nowadays, I decided to switch my favorite to 2PM and SHINee.

Oh, writing in English such like sucks one, but I'm trying my best. Feel free to be a beta reader? Hahaha.

You might think I've lost control for being so insane, doing these fantasy thingy--imagining wildly how it'd be looked like when I, for real, is married with Henry Lau or Nakajima Yuto. Seriously, I don't think it's that bad. It'll turn out to be so fun, and... I'LL ABSOLUTELY BE HAPPY. I would have nice kids, awesome grandsons-granddaughter, and the grandsgrandsgrands--oh, leave this one. My family consists of >>

......LOADING

.......LOADING

Seems like it's getting slower each time I want to upload those photos. I'll continue this post later. See you :)

24th Post

2009-12-22T10:58:00.000+07:00

Somehow, I'm desperately in love with my eldest son (I mean--my fake son--which I really wished he could be MY REAL SON). Very sorry for Henry Lau and Nakajima Yuto--my husbands, because my whole time, almost all, was wasted for our Choi Minho from SHINee. Ahahaha. It's not like I got fanatic or what--to be honest, let's say I WAS ADDICTED ALREADY! wtf.

He's so adorable, keep me thinking "Handsome." or "Damn, hot." or even "Gyaaaa wish you weren't my kids!".

Ok. I'm gonna be more insane than this if we keep continue. Let's move.

2 days left before report book given to the parents.

OMG.

I guess this is my biggest problem now, for real. I wonder what would be written on my report--after what I've been doing all this time, skipped class, talked by myself when the teachers taught me, and not gave my best in examinations.

Gah.

I don't care e e e e er~

23th Post

2009-12-14T07:10:00.000+07:00

It's done. Definitely.

*the examination, I mean.

Eh, nope. Take those back. There's still things left behind to be done -- and yet, I haven't got a feel to finish them all. Really, it's suck. With all problems around my head, all this hatred gathered in one place, seemed like everything had already been messed up, blew away somewhere, and could be found nowhere. School, for some reasons, is getting hectic. Gosh, please, let me be away from this -- at least, once in my life.

Sometimes, I fed up with these thingy. Feeling gross, achy, bored, and somehow -- in some certain times, I felt like I just wanna dissappear, out of sight of them.

Well, complaining wouldn't make the problem solved. Let's switch the topic.

Oh, anyhow, does somebody know how to make someone we cared about REALIZE what IS HAPPENING?

THAT HUMAN BEING -- IS HE/SHE BLIND OR WHAT? THAT HUMAN BEING -- yet, he/she still doesn't realize (I bet he/she is sensitive enough but... =_=) what ACTUALLY WE THOUGHT about him/her.

Oh, ok. Whatsoever.

We're still, stuck up with our plan before -- giving you 200 Attacks, just like what 2 P.M. did to Taecyon :D

22th Post

2009-12-13T18:01:00.000+07:00

Saya sering dianggap dewasa.

Saya juga sadar soal itu.

Saya sering diposisikan sebagai penengah.

Saya tahu itu.

Saya sebenarnya sulit untuk marah.

Tapi bukan berarti saya nggak bisa.

Hei, kamu. Pernah kamu menyadari -- bahwa apa yang sudah kamu perbuat itu menyakiti orang-orang di sekelilingmu? Pernah? Pernah mendengar mereka mengeluhkan kamu? Pernah memahami bagaimana rasanya diperlakukan seperti itu? Saya sudah berulang kali mencoba menahan homunculus dan monster-monster lain dari perut saya -- menahan supaya amarah tetap berada di ubun-ubun, tapi saya sadar langkah saya keliru. Dari awal, saya seharusnya sudah melakukan ini. Membuat kamu mengerti, tidak semua orang TAHAN diperlakukan begitu. Tidak semua orang sanggup memenuhi ambisimu. Tidak semua pihak setuju dengan argumenmu. Membuat kamu berpikiran dewasa. Semua bukan karena saya membenci kamu. Saya INGIN MENOLONG kamu. Tolong pahami itu.

Tadinya.

Lalu kenapa semua usaha saya malah berubah menjadi kebencian sekarang?

Kapan kamu akan sadar?

21th Post

2009-11-26T20:57:00.000+07:00

Dia memang hanya dia
Ku selalu memikirkannya
Tak pernah ada habisnya
Benar dia, benar hanya dia
Ku selalu menginginkannya

Belaian dari tangannya
Mungkin hanya dia
Harta yang paling terindah
Di perjalanan hidupku

Sejak derap denyut nadiku
Mungkin hanya dia
Indahnya sangat berbeda
Ku haus merindukannya

Ku ingin kau tahu isi hatiku
Kaulah yang terakhir dalam hidupku
Tak ada yang lain, hanya kamu
Tak pernah ada
Takkan pernah ada

Benar dia, benar hanya dia
Ku selalu menginginkannya
Belaian dari tangannya
Mungkin hanya dia
Indahnya sangat berbeda
Ku haus merindukannya

Ku ingin kau selalu di pikiranku
Kau yang selalu larut dalam darahku
Tak ada yang lain, hanya kamu
Tak pernah ada
Takkan pernah ada

(Geisha -- Takkan Pernah Ada)

And I´m gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've gotta to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry,
Don't cry,
Don't cry

(Fergie - Big Girls Don't Cry)

There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call ya
But I know you won't be there

If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you
Since you've been away
Ooh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time

(Hurt - Christina Aguilera)

You don't listen to her
You don't care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
'Cause you're taking her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you're just a boy...

(If I Were A Boy - Beyonce)

And i dont know how to be fine when i'm not
Cause i don't know how to make the feelings stop

Just so you know
This feelings takin control
Of me and i can't help it
I wont sit around
I can't let him win now
Though you should know
I've tryed my best to let go of you
But i don't want to
I just gotta say it all before you go
Just so you know

(Just So You Know - Jesse McCartney)

I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave
My heart won't move, it's incomplete
Wish there was a way that I can make you understand

But how do you expect me
To live alone with just me
'Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to breathe
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
That's how I feel whenever you ain't there
There's no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gon' be without me
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe
There's no air, no air

(No Air - Jordin Sparks)

So I've learned that love's Not Possession
And I've learned that love won't wait
Now I've learned that love needs expression
But I learned too late

He's out of my life
He's out of my life
Damned Indecision and cursed pride
Kept my love for him locked deep Inside
And it cuts like a knife
He's out of my life

(He's Out Of My Life *with some revision* - Josh Groban)

Didn't wanna want you
Didn't wanna need you so bad
Didn't wanna wake up
And find that i was falling so fast
Didn't wanna need you
Didn't wanna need anyone
Now look what you've done

Now i can't go on without you
I'm naked, i cant fake it.
I'm not that strong without you
Never thought i could love you,
the way i do..

(The Way I Do - Anonym)

The trouble is I can't get him out of my mind
When I close my eyes at night
Who's gonna save me
Now he's gone
The trouble is there's a part of me
That still can't let go of his memory
And now I know what it is
Love, is what the trouble is..

(Trouble Is - Backstreet Boys)

------

Hari ini aku inget kamu. Lagi. Nggak tau udah keberapa kali, karna pada kenyataannya, aku nggak pernah ngitung.

KENAPA KAMU HARUS ADA TERUS SIH DI OTAKKU? AKU CAPEK, AKU CAPEK.. Kenapa ngilangin kamu dari hidup aku sama susahnya dengan nggarap soal-soal Kimia? Kenapa aku harus selalu ada di bawah bayang-bayangmu, sih? Aku nggak suka! Aku keliatan lemah dan itu nyusahin! Aku nggak mau lagi inget semua hal manis yang kamu kasih ke aku, semua perlakuan istimewa itu...

Kenapa kamu bikin aku cinta sama kamu?

20th Post

2009-11-24T17:21:00.000+07:00

Saya sudah hidup selama 16 tahun. Nggak kerasa udah setua itu..

Dan kupikir, usia segitu itu normal bagi remaja--lagi doyan-doyannya gonta-ganti pacar.

Tapi aku enggak begitu.

Fakta-fakta tentang romance yang selama ini ada dan terjadi adalah >>

a. Mostly, 80% cowok yang aku suka dan pernah suka aku adalah drummer. Entah ini kutukan atau berkah.
b. Aku nggak pernah menjalin status apapun dengan salah satu dari mereka.
c. Hubungan paling lama yang pernah aku jalanin itu 1,5 taun (yang menurutku singkat) tapi anehnya, bagi orang-orang kebanyakan itu ~~luar biasa~~ lama.

Dan dipikir-pikir, sebenernya yang namanya cinta itu apa?

Aku nggak pernah mengacu pada semua cerita di sinetron yang amit-amit itu. Buatku dan di mataku, itu sama sekali bukan definisi 'cinta' yang beneran. Aku pernah merasakan apa itu cinta--dan sama sekali nggak mirip sinetron. (Apa ini karna akunya yang emang nggak sensitif ya?)

Dan dengan jujur aku bilang, jatuh cinta itu nyusahin.

Aku nggak bohong. Lebih enak dicintai daripada mencintai. Itu mutlak. Kenapa? Waktu kita mencintai, kita bakal kesiksa sendiri karna nggak tau orang yang kita cintai itu punya rasa yang sama atau nggak sama kita (kecuali kalo kamu bener-bener tulus kayak cerita manga-manga cengeng atau sinetron--yang aku hampir nggak yakin ada).. dan mencintai dengan kadar lebih dari 50% itu NGGAK ENAK.

I met a boy, a Chinese, cute, chubby -- and so adorable. He's alike with Henry a lot, for some reasons and I admit it. Dia seenaknya sendiri, anak bungsu dan somehow agak manja dengan caranya yang unik--tapi after all, dia nyenengin. Dia manis, dan dia... heh, aku sendiri nggak begitu ngerti kenapa bisa suka sama dia. Dibalik semua kelebihan yang dia punya, kekurangannya juga ada, fatal pula. Satu; kita beda keyakinan. Dua; dia doyan cewek (sebenernya bukan macem playboy gitu, cuman... yah, singkatnya, dia doyan cewek.)

Waktu itu kita sms-an hampir setiap hari--tiap jam, tiap menit, kita bakal saling kirim hal-hal nggak penting. Padahal isinya pun nggak jelas, but no matter what, he could make my face turned into red. I was blushed. Dang. Aku belum pernah digituin sekalipun sebelumnya. Kata-katanya yang sebenernya standar bisa bikin aku melayang dan seneng banget...

...dan untuk 5 bulan aku deket sama dia (dan kita udah sama-sama bilang suka), aku baru bisa bilang, Oh, aku beneran suka sama dia. Ini ya, yang namanya CINTA?

19 Post

2009-11-24T08:33:00.000+07:00

Saya sedang dalam pembuatan blog azayaka.

Saya masih mencari template yang pas dan nggak susah buat diedit, tapi nyatanya susah banget mencari yang pas dengan selera kita.. nggak terlalu gothic, tapi nggak kekanak-kanakan juga..

Oh, barusan aja nilai Mid dibagi. Edan, jelek-jelek semua nih nilainya. Untung nggak jadi dibagiin ke orang tua. mampus deh kalo beneran.

18th Post

2009-11-21T11:33:00.000+07:00

Berita hari ini >>

1. Saya tertular SON COMPLEX (salahkan Vanyol untuk yang satu ini)

2. Kaname-papa potong rambut. (saya tau ini nggak penting, tapi eniwei masukin aja deh. ini juga berita, kok.)

3. Saya (ini sebenernya sub dari poin no 1) merasa Choi Min Ho maniiiis sekali. Hahaha :DD

intinya hari ini lagi nggak jelas mau cerita apa, karna sebenernya hari ini nggak ada hal jelas yang mampir di hidupku :)

17th Post

2009-11-20T10:34:00.000+07:00

Hari ini... rasanya hambar banget. Nggak ada sesuatu hal apapun yang bisa bikin aku tertarik. Nggak fanfic, nggak dengerin lagu, APALAGI DENGERIN GURU :9
Yah, ini juga aku posting waktu pelajaran agama dengan begitu pedenya waktu gurunya baru ceramah sendirian di depan. Maaf, Pak, bukan maksud saya nggak sopan, tapi saya baru BOSEN MAMPUS, Pak hehehe :DD Tuhan aja Maha Memaafkan, masak bapak nggak? wkwk

Bosen...

16th Post

2009-11-17T08:57:00.000+07:00

SAYA SUKA COSPLAAAAY!

Ahahaha. Maaf deh dateng-dateng langsung ngeracau yang nggak-nggak. Masih euphoria gara-gara cosplaying di event hari Sabtu-Minggu kemarin. Seperti yang udah aku tulisin di postingan sebelumnya, kita cosplay jadi tokoh Vampire Knight -- relataed to fangs, blood, and incest. Wkwkwk :DD

Seneng deh. Jadi artis sehari karna jalan sana jalan sini dimintain fotoooooo melulu.

So, the casts are >>

Saya as Yuuki Cross :DD

Kiri ke kanan >> Seiren (Shika) - Kaname (Andika) - Aku (Yuuki) - Zero (Aldi) + TONGTJI (sponsor terbesar) wkwk

Kiri ke kanan >> Aku (Yuuki) - Shika (Seiren) - Yonchan (dia fashion) - Vanyol (Rima) - Karin (Sayori -- yang dibilang mirip sama S*LE)

Vanyol (yang sering aku kontrak paksa lappienya) - as Touya Rima

Ini pertama kalinya tim JCOM-ku ikut cosplay -- yah, biarpun Yuuki-nya berbetis besar, Rima-nya salah cat rambut, Sayori-nya mirip S*LE, Seiren-nya kayak sexy grandma, sementara Ruka-nya kayak tante girang abis (saya postingkan fotonya lain kali), that's all we can do. Ekspektasi kami terhadap dua tokoh pria tampannya memang sedikit jauh -- dan kami sudah siap untuk melihat yang terburuk, tapi harus diakui... yah, boleh deh daripada nggak sama sekali. Zero-nya biarpun kayak Anoman tetep banyak penggemar yang minta foto bareng (itu tandanya dia cukup populer, right?) dan Kaname-nya nampak seperti 'semacam' mutasi antara Tarzan dan banci--aura princenya lumayan juga.. (saya tak tega harus mengomen apa T.T -- karna OH YA AMPUN -- KANAMENYA MEDHOK! JOWO BUANGET!)

Eniwei, prepare buat cosu emang bikin capek mental & fisik, but after all -- it's TOTALLY FUN. :D

Hn.. taun depan cosplay apa ya enaknyaaaa??

15th Post

2009-11-04T07:52:00.000+07:00

2 hari kemaren--akhirnya aku ngerasain apa yang dinamain 'LELAH FISIK DAN LELAH MENTAL'.

Hebatnya, penyebabnya tunggal; AFS.

Seharusnya tenggat waktu ngumpulin formulir untuk Host Family jatuh tempo besok Kamis. Dan aku hepi-hepi, nyantai, karena aku juga harus konsen buat Mid-semester (konsen? perasaan tetep aja nyonto-nyontoan deh akhirnya) -- jadi selama sekitar enam harian formulir itu nggak aku sentuh.

Tepat di hari Minggu, tanggal 1 November 2009, telepon berdering. Dari Shuluh -- temen sesekolahku yang juga lolos AFS.

S    : Kamu dah tau?
P    : Apaan?
S    : Formulir AFS harus dikumpulin ntar sore jam 4, lho!
P    : *speechless, hampir mati*

Kayak orang kesetanan -- and DAMN, aku baru dirumah budheku waktu itu. Aku langsung maksa kakak sepupu buat nganterin aku pulang -- and DAMN AGAIN, ban motor gembos sampe DUA KALI! Kutukan macem apa lagi coba tuh?

Malemnya langsung kejar tes TB, suntik Mantoux, dan lain sebagainya. Aku nggak pernah nyangka ngurus hal-hal kayak gitu sebegini sulitnya. Ribet banget. Mana suster di rumah sakitnya judes, pula. Phew.

Intinya, saya kapok.

Selamat, AFS. Akhirnya kamu berhasil juga saya selesaikan. Saya ingin melupakanmu sementara -- dan konsen untuk cosplay. Makasih. Jangan kecewakan saya, ya ^^

14th Post

2009-10-25T17:13:00.000+07:00

AKU BENCI BANGET NUNGGUIN ORANG.

=_=;

Aku nungguin seseorang buat dateng ke rumah -- karna aku mau bikin surprise ke dia | tapi dianya nggak dateng-dateeeeeeeeeng! Gyaaaaaaa sebel! Mana beli kuenya pake muter-muter mampir 6 toko pula! Dan harganya nggak MANUSIAWI! GILA! KENTHIR! Mosok roti cilik wae diregani 85.000? Minta ditabok yang jualaaaaaaaan!

Rasanya kok hidupku akhir-akhir ini semrawut banget ya? Selasa depan mid semester, trus aku bener-bener belom siap. Males banget belajar macem-macem -- uedyan; udah guru fisika 3 biji nggak ada yang ngedongi, kimia nggak ada yang masuk otak, mending juga biologi (tapi bahannya setengah buku sendiri. ASEM.)

Intinya... saya sedang berada di masa-masa stress tingkat tinggi. I'm in my burnt out point hehew :P

Doakan saya berhasil, teman! Uoh!

13th Post

2009-10-22T09:03:00.000+07:00

Aku nggak pernah percaya sama takhayul.

Meskipun ini postingan ke-13, aku nggak menganggap akan terjadi sesuatu di postingan ke-13.

Tapi nyatanya, ada kejadian.

...papanya Tennou, Aldi-chan, meninggal dunia dengan tenang semalem. Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi rajiun.

Aku baru tau tadi pagi, on my way to school -- when suddenly Shuluh shouted from behind, "His father dies! Aldi's father DIES!"

And all I felt, my whole world stopped right away. Motorku kayak mau jatuh -- karena seingatku, kemaren sore bener-bener nggak ada kejadian apapun yang jadi tanda-tanda. Aldi masih ketawa-ketawa nggak jelas sama kita, masih bercanda, masih lari-lari seolah nggak ada yang terjadi. Hei-hei-hei, dan tau-tau pagi ini dapet berita papanya bakal dimakamkan jam 2 siang.

Hew.

Hidup dan usia bener-bener nggak ada yang bisa ngitung dengan pasti.

Kematian adalah sesuatu yang mesti terjadi, nggak bisa dihindari dan ditipu. Yang bisa kita lakukan cuma mempersiapkan diri dengan baik, berbuat kebaikan sebanyak-banyaknya.

Buat Aldi, kamu baik-baik aja. Kamu bakal baik-baik aja, dan kamu HARUS baik-baik aja. Kita semua ada di sini buat kamu... kamu anak laki-laki satu-satunya dan kamu, mulai sekarang, harus gantiin tanggung jawab papamu -- dan aku nggak ragu, karna kamu mesti bisa :)

..jadi, setelah ini -- ketawalah terus ya. Biar papamu ngliatnya tenang dari surga :)

12th Post

2009-10-19T20:26:00.000+07:00

Intinya, hari ini HEPI berat.

Alhamdulillah tadi dapet surat dari kantor pusat; isinya aku lolos seleksi AFS. Seleksi Nasional.

Oke.

Kayaknya cuma pingin ngomong itu aja deh :)

11th Post

2009-10-17T11:09:00.000+07:00

Kira-kira kapan aku bisa berhenti bikin fanfic?

It's soooo addictive. DAMN IT. Aku nggak bisa berhenti nulis -- semua ide cerita bersliweran, minta diketikin. Padahal nyari waktu aja susah -- dan bikin aku jadi nggak konsen belajar. Hew. Nulis fanfic itu nyenengin, tapi di saat yang sama juga nyusahin minta ampun.. sekarang malah kegap bikin fanfic baru lagi tentang Henry =_=; PAYAH! Mana tiga-tiganya On Writing semua... :(

Aku ngeblog sekarang, waktu pelajaran B. Indonesia. Ada tuh gurunya di depan -- dan aku di bangku paling belakang seenak udel ngerampas laptop temen sebelah biar nggak bosen. (Billion thanks, Vanyol^^) Tadi 2 jam pelajaran MTK abis dipake bolos -- hew, kok kedengeran nakal banget ya aku? Padahal biasa aja. Kultur dibalik slogan Teladan. Harharharhar

Akhir-akhir ini HSJ agak terlupakan, sori. Habis demam Henry baru menyebar sih -- salahin dia nebar feromon kemana-mana. Dasar pipi bakpau. Hantu cina. =_=

Mau ngomong apa lagi ya? Nggak ada yang spesial sih. Postingan kali ini cuma buat formalitas hehehehehe :D

Jaa~ sayounara :)

10th Post

2009-10-16T19:52:00.000+07:00

Hei, bloggie. Whatcha doin?

Di depanku persis sekarang ada buku biologi, tergeletak dan terbuka -- tapi anehnya, sama sekali nggak menggoda buat dibaca. Yeayeayea, kayaknya itu salah satu hal paling sinting dari buku pelajaran... padahal tersebar di mana-mana dan terbuka dengan jumawa, tapi komik ketekuk-tekuk yang lusuh pun masih lebih mengundang dari itu. Muakakakak

Anyway, ada kabar apa hari ini?

Grooo... sore ini tadi aku mati-matian ngedance Genie-nya SNSD -- weleh weleh, akhirnya bisa juga. Lumayan tu nggantiin senam buat bakar lemak. Keringet keluar banyak. Hore! Tapi kempolku nggak kecil-kecil.. iri deh sama punyanya mbak Soo Young =_=;

Secara keseluruhan hari ini biasa aja. Nggak di sekolah, nggak di rumah, semua serba biasa. Tadi dapet foto Henry banyak, trus donlod lagu yang selama ini aku cari setengah mati (padahal kata orang gampang banget nemuin lagu ini. Berarti akunya yang bego dong?)

Menurutku lagunya baguuuuuuus banget. OST Zorro, tau nggak? Judulnya I Want To Spent My Lifetime Loving You..

Moon so bright, night so fine
Keep your heart here with mine
Life's a dream we are dreaming

Race the moon, catch the wind
Ride the night to the end
Seize the day, stand up for the light

I want to spend my lifetime loving you
If that is all in life I ever do

Heroes rise, heroes fall
Rise again, win it all
In your heart, can't you feel the glory?

Through our joy, through our pain
We can move worlds again
Take my hand, dance with me

I want to spend my lifetime loving you
If that is all in life I ever do
I will want nothing else to see me through
If I could spend my lifetime loving you

Though we know we will never come again
When there is love, life begins
Over and over again

Save the night, save the day
Save your love, come what may
Love is worth everything we pay

I want to spend my lifetime loving you
If that is all in life I ever do
I want to spend my lifetime loving you
If that is all in life I ever do
I will want nothing else to see me through
If I can spend my life time loving you...

Huweee... aku juga mau ngabisin sisa hidupku buat cinta Yuto sama Henry.. *digeplak*

Tapi hidup, pada kenyataannnya emang nggak seindah itu -- sama sekali beda sama lirik-lirik lagu cinta. Aku dimintai bantuan buat ngisi musik anak teater sekolah, keperluannya lomba film. Mereka bikin lagu, aku yang suruh nyanyiin. Judulnya Ironis. Dan buatku, lagu itu memang ironis banget. Nyadarin semua manusia supaya nggak usah mimpi yang muluk-muluk dan berlebihan dalam mencintai seseorang. Apa ya istilahnya... hope for the best but prepare for the worst too...

Btw, makin lama internetku makin ngeselin nih.. lambat!

Tadi sempet arisan sama semua penghuni mansion -- semacam bikin announcement tentang kelahiran anak kita masing-masing, gitu.. sounds weird, but I'm telling the truth. Aku punya anak namanya Xi Lau (baca: SILAU); Min Ho (from SHInee ^^) dan Soo Young (OMO! Artis fav-ku jadi anakku -- faint).. hahahahaha kebayang juga nanti si bungsu, Xi Lau kayak apa... pokoknya pipinya tembem kayak papa-mamanya, matanya sipit kayak papanya, putiiiiiih kayak hantu cina. Trus bakat biola kayak papanya juga -- tapi lebih sangar, soalnya main biolanya nggak sambil ngayang... mainnya sambil tangan yang pegang bow makan bakso. Muakakak

Nah. Saya mau belajar sebelum Mama memergoki saya internetan lagi. Hehe^^

--------

current music   : It's Gonna Rain - Bonnie Pink
current mood   : Boring
current place    : Earth :)

9th Post

2009-10-15T19:48:00.000+07:00

I'm in my room, cursing at my laptop many times because of the internet -- geez, it's lower than turtle's speed =_=;

Oh, and I chat with my brother too. Since I dunno what to do but listening to music, I decide to log in my YM -- looking for some friends who also get in line. I'm truly excited today, and for some reasons, i felt a bit gloomy in the same time. You guys know I joined Aorta -- my ex-band (now I call it my ex-band cause I don't belong there anymore), and so far I like them all.

Gah, aku capek sok Inggris. Nanti deh kalo lagi mood aku terusin. Ehehe :)

Anyway, dari dulu aku seneng bisa gabung sama mereka. Mereka nyenengin, mereka asik, mereka semua pengertian dan saling menghormati (aku cuma keberatan soal omongan mereka yang kadang joroknya minta ampun =_=;). Cuma dari dulu aku udah sadar -- aku nggak mungkin bersama mereka lama-lama. Aku selalu pingin ngomong dari dulu, aku takut ngerepotin mereka (dan sebenernya udah banyak kali aku lakuin) karena aku nggak bisa nyamain ritme mereka dalam latian. Peraturan di rumahku gamblang banget, "Come home before 5 P.M," that's all my dad said. And me, as his eldest daughter who has to be a good sample for my younger one, like or dislike, must obey it. Aku nggak pernah membenci ayahku karena aturan itu. Aku nggak merasa itu mengekang, aku tau semuanya diberlakukan atas dasar khawatir dan rasa sayang. Aku sayang keluargaku dan aku nggak mau melanggar aturannya.

Sayang, satu-satunya yang punya komitmen semacem ini cuma aku diantara mereka berdelapan. Kebanyakan cowok, aku juga ngerti mereka lebih punya banyak jam bebas daripada aku, dan aku hargai itu. Aku nggak mau bikin repot kalian lebih jauh karna nggak bisa selalu latian, dan aku nggak siap buat nyamain langkah 'Go National' kalian. Mungkin memang cuma sampe di sini aku bisa berpartisipasi. Hehe :D

Aku jarang ketemu kalian, dan jujur aku kangen waktu kita saling menghina-dina, mencaci-maki, obrolan 'nyeleneh' dan semuanya itu -- but ya know something? You guys are irreplaceable. Kalian yang terbaik -- skill musik kalian semua nggak main-main, semua orang yang lihat kalian tau itu. Pokoknya kalian harus sukses. Uoh!

Buat dua manajer kesayanganku, maaf udah sering ngrepotin -- dan billion thanks buat kalian berdua. Buat partnerku, baik-baik ya. Ngeband boleh, tapi udah kelas tiga nih. Siap-siap ambil ancang-ancang. Buat bassist favorit mamaku, semangat! Keyboardist yang cantik, rukun-rukun sama pacarmu yang sekarang. My soulmate, guitarist, makasih selalu mempercayakan cerita-ceritamu ke aku. Aku nggak tau gimana jadinya kehidupanku di SMA tanpa kamu. Last but not least, drummer, who used to be my Joker, who used to be a someone special for me, lima bulan kemaren kamu sukses bikin aku punya kesibukan baru! Hehehe. Bahagia ya di kampusmu :D

Gyaboo. Ini bukan salam perpisahan, kok. I just say what i wanna say :)

Oh, dan kemaren aku nebeng laptop Vanyol buat donlod banyak scans HSJ. OMO! Asem. Mereka semua tambah ganteng... *drooling* Plus, aku kepincut sama Henry *rebutan nih sama kak dani*, manusia super jenius dan perlu dipertanyakan apa dia bener-bener manusia atau nggak. Yang namanya Henry Lau adalah sosok yang... mungkin diidam-idamkan semua cewek. Imut, putih, chubby, tinggi, atletis, pinter nyanyi, jago dance, violinist terkenal, pianis yang keren.... OUCH and OUCH. *sori, Yuto, tapi di page ini kamu aku kesampingin dulu yah. Hehehe*

Aku masih punya ambisi pribadi buat beli sepatu boots coklat kayak punya Yuuki -- entah jadi dipake atau nggak. Semoga jadi, soalnya aku nggak pede berat sama kempol Ken-Dedesku ini =_=; Aku udah pesen sepatunya, semoga hasilnya bagus dan nggak mengecewakan.

Eh, aku belum ngomongin soal fanfic ya?

To be sure... let's say I'm in hiatus now. Aku off dulu bikin fanfic sebulan -- ada mid semester dan ada proyek cosplay juga, jadi aku mau konsen, nggak mungkin semua dicampur. Biarpun cuma fanfic, tapi fanfic itu sebagian dari hidup aku. Aku nggak mau bikin fanfic asal-asalan hanya demi memenuhi target deadline. Hehe :)

Oke. Saya mulai mengantuk nih... mau nonton Vampire Knight buat pendalaman karakter dulu. Ehehe :D

Jaaa~

---

current music : Tell Tell Bozu - Kokia

current mood :

- feeling guilty

current place : Henry's heart *kicked*

9th Post

2009-10-13T10:23:00.000+07:00

I'm skipping physic class right now -- strategic place, library. Today's SUCK. Really. I have to face double test in once, and the subjects are all in my 'WORST LESSONS EVER' ; it's MATH and CHEMISTRY. Therefore, I decided to devide it with my friend -- I'll responsible for the math. Geez, i hate both, but I must choose at least one of them. So, I prefer math than chemistry -- anyway, I don't even understand a single thing.

Well, guys. Wish me luck =_=;

2009-10-10T12:24:00.000+07:00

Hu-uh.

I was about to have an IT exam.

Geez, I didn't prepare even a single thing to face this test. I just read the modul for 3 minutes and put it away of my sight. It's boooooriiiing and uninteresting. See, it doesn't matter -- yang penting kan kita bisa pake internet, kan? =_=

Well -- i'm in my mood now, so I decided to post in English. Since I still have lots to work on (in this case, I mean--my English). I wonder how Fitha's reaction when she sees this post -- sure, she'll correct this all while her mouth kept cursing loudly, "Wrong, wrong, wrong. What's this, ha?"

Ahahahaha :D

I know this post is pointless and has no meaning at all -- but writing, now, is all what i wanna do. I'm waiting for any comments which adressed to my fanfiction in forum, but since nobody gathered around there anymore, I seldom talk about my fanfic. Heyheyhey, don't get me wrong -- of course, I'll keep writing my latest fanfic 'Over The Fantasy' cause I'm addicted on it, seriously. Lately, I imagined how cool Yabu is when he said my fav quote -- (scene when Lessa got pregnant) -- he said, "When she grows up," he whispered, "tell her to call me 'Daddy'."

OH GOSH. Took a pity on you, Yabu-sama.. i know you loved her more than anyone did -- but she lost IT, and you, faithfully, accept her no matter what.

Gyahahahaha :)

ups, fitha's coming and the test will be on stage 1 minutes left. See ya, bloggie. Wish me luck! :)

7th Post

2009-10-08T19:20:00.000+07:00

Badanku meriang banget hari ini. Aku kecapekan, darah rendah, mens pula. =_=;

Tadi siang bolos jam 7-8 buat revisi naskah. Pusing, nggak keluar ide. Untung Fitha dateng (our goddess, muakakak) dan dia dengan begitu baik hatinya *iya po?* memberi ide-ide cerita yang -- ugh, dengan berat hati, penuh dengan adegan BRAKOT-MEMBRAKOT antara aku dan *sighed* Kaname-sama (yang dalam hal ini si DIKA). Oh Ya ampun, untung nggak brakot-brakotan langsung. Kontak fisik -- hn.

Mungkin ini bakal jadi terakhir kali masa SMA aku bisa bersenang-senang, karena di tahun ketiga nanti aku nggak bisa kayak gini. Kemungkinan -- amin -- aku bakal nggak di Indonesia. Amin, semoga AFS-nya diterima... makanya aku cuma pingin puas-puasin sampe besok. Udah, habis itu konsen belajar.. aku juga harus serius. Hukum Internasional apa Psikologi ya? Hn..

I'm watching Let The Right One In. Seperti kata Fitha, mungkin emang lebih bagus daripada Twilight...

=_=;

Postingan ini mulai nggak ceto dan aku semakin pusing. Udahan aja ya? Ngantuk...

6th Post

2009-10-06T19:36:00.000+07:00

Gyaaaaa.

ATM dan Buku Tabungan yang aku cari-cari akhirnya ketemu. Huff. Syukur deh. Duit cosplay di situ semuaaaaa bahaya kalo nggak ketemu. Ya Allah, makasih banyak!

Hari ini alhamdulillah lolos dari banyak hal -- ulangan Pak Ratno (biarpun tetep aja dikasih latian soal seabrek, dan otakku macet total. Udah karatan kali ya?) =_=; pokoknya hari ini cukup banyak hal nyenengin yang dateng. Tanoshii yo~

Eniwei hari ini rumahku sempet rame banget. Aldi sama Dika dateng ukur baju -- ditemenin Dian juga. Dasar nggak sopan, udah bikin ruang tamu orang amburadul, remah-remah kacang tebar-tebar, berisik pula =_=; tanduk minum pula. Ckckck -- what a mess. Sempet kesel, waktu ngasih mereka minum yang kedua sengaja aku kasih gula yang ada semutnya. Muakakakak *evil's laugh*

Aldi, semakin lama kamu semakin nggak ceto. Dika, kamu jayus banget sumpah =_=;

Hoh. Dan betapa cantiknya seragam para siswa dalam Vampire Knight *sighed in amused tone*. Mamaku pun mengakui sepenuh hati. Dan Ya Allah, billion thanks again -- kita udah nentuin jalan cerita cabaretnya! Uoh! Semoga aja jadi sekeren yang kita bayangin. Itu deh yang paling bikin stress -- nentuin jalan cerita. Yea-yea, sebenernya agak nggak kebayang juga ntar bakal kayak apa, tapi yang pasti aku bener-bener berharap usahaku dan temen-temenku nggak sia-sia. Semoga.

Dan tekadku nggak berubah, pokoknya habis cosplay aku mau langsung potong ala Soo Young! YES!

Aku lagi berjuang cari sepatu boot dengan hak super pendek, selutut panjangnya, trus ada talitali di depan, warnanya coklat. Kayaknya musti pesen. Semoga aja deh harganya dibawah 100 rebeng *hope desperately*. Atau ada yang punya, jadi bisa kasih pinjem aku? Wakakakak. I'm looking for hair color spray too, auburn. Cari di mana ya teman? Dan HARUS yang ilang sekali keramas. HARUS. Semoga barang yang aku cari bisa dijangkau dengan murah. Kasian temen-temenku kalo kemahalen... udah pada buang duit buat beli wig, segala macem tetek bengek... temen-temen, berjuang ya :)

Oke. Saya sedang buat naskah.

Hold on, I'm on my way... ^^

------------------

current music : Answer - FLOW

current mood :

5th Post

2009-10-05T19:39:00.002+07:00

Konbanme :)

Seharian capek banget. Pagi olahraga senam aborsi (lari keliling kompleks sekolah 2x puteran), cium lutut dan segala macem senam nggak ceto, push up 50x, back up 50x -- yes yes yes, kedengerannya emang nggak penting buat dilakuin, tapi bodohnya aku tetep manut-manut aja disuruh kayak gitu. =_=;

Tadi siang pulsek langsung dikomando sama Akari suruh ke Dance Class bahas rencana cosplay. Fuh, akhirnya mulai jelas juga kemana arah cosplay pertama kita ini. Temanya dari awal udah ditentuin; Vampire Knight. Aku sebenernya nggak gitu yakin juga gimana jadinya, apalagi liat cast pemain kita : Aku as Yuki Cross, Tennou as Kiryuu Zero, Dika (oh-my-god) as Kaname, Akari as Ruka, Karin as Wakaba Sayori, Shika as Seiren, and last one--Vanyol as Rima. Oh, dan Staff Khusus: Deetbum--we're nothing without you, babe! Geez. Serem juga bayangin muka-muka asli Indonesia begini bakal mainin peran mereka. *nahan ketawa*. Sempet searching bentar di google tadi -- dan ya ampun, yang cosplay Kaname sama Zero ganteng-ganteng. Besok Dika sama Tennou kayak apa ya?? *twinking*

tapi aku pikir sih asal make-up nya tepat dan bajunya mendukung--semua bisa jadi mungkin. Ha-ha. Semoga aja deh T.T

Duit DP udah kumpul, besok siang jalan-jalan sama Mama beli kain. Syukurlah saya punya Mama yang bisa menjahit baju-baju sulit dan aneh-aneh. Doakan lancar, Azayaka-tachi.

Oiya. Tadi sempet pendalaman karakter juga *niatnya* tapi malah jadi gajebo berat. Akhirnya malah mati-matian nipu Dias. Yang perlu banyak belajar sih tiga orang: si Seiren (shika), Rima (Vanyol) sama Yori (Karin) -- terutama si Karin. Habis, Yori kan semacam anak-baik-baik gitu (dan sangat mengingatkanku sama -- uh, you-know-who), padahal aslinya Karin lebih liar dari kuda sumbawa =_=;

Tapi asal serius, aku yakin mereka bisa kok.

Andelin semangat kalian. Uoh!

-- akhir-akhir ini aku kebanyakan mikir. Stress numpuk. Setelah cosplay selesai -- aku pingin banget potong pendek ala Soo Young (SNSD) di latest albumnya, Genie. Sumpaaaaaah cantik sekali kau, oennie! Aku jadi merasa cewek berambut pendek itu kereeeeen. Kesan enerjik dan sportifnya langsung dapet. Pingin banget potong kayak gitu -- tapi takut dimarahin Ayah. Galak sih kalo soal rambut T.T. Ayaaah boleh dong *teary eyes*. Pokoknya terserah deh. Aku mau potong kayak gitu! Love it love it love it soo damn much. Cuantek banget! Jadi pingin tau.. tar kalo rambutku yang dipotong hasilnya bakal sebagus itu nggak ya? *wondering*

Akhir-akhir ini aku jadi jarang merhatiin Yuto *Yuto, maaf -- aku emang istri yang nggak berbakti huwee*. Dan tanpa sadar Yuto udah seganteng ini :

Dan bocah yang satu ini -- Ryutaro, (bawah) sudah berubah se-hot ini :

OMO! Aku mau banget punya anak kayak Ryutaro. Sumpah bikin drooling ni bocah satu -- dulu masih ingusan kayak gitu sekarang... well, you're so damn HOT, boy. Ckckck

Oke, mungkin segini dulu. Saya pusing setelah liat MV Abracadabra versi 2AM 2PM Wild Bunny. Muntahmuntah terus nih. Jijik ah. Ya Tuhan, ada to ternyata makhluk semacam Jo Kwon di dunia ini. Zzzzzt =_=;

Pergi dulu ya, mau cari obat buat bisa ngilangin muka Jo Kwon dari otak.

Ittekimasu~

------

current music : Fisherman's Horizon (OST FF8)
current mood :

- on headset

current place : Yuto's heart :D

4th Post

2009-10-04T14:05:00.001+07:00

Stress.

Ya ampun.

Merubah layout blog ini aja ngabisin berapa jam sendiri ya? Geez.. sampe capek ngutak-atik HTML.

Barusan aku mampir ke forum -- as usual, nggak ada komen baru buat fanficku. Apa emang pada sibuk ya? (sori--gini deh kalo lagi addicted sama sesuatu, pasti itu yang ditulis duluan muakakak). Akhirnya malah donlod Myojo Oktober sama Popolo Oktober. Buat yang rajin ngapdet, thanks a lot ya. Kalian mempermudah jalanku hehe :)

Oke, dengan bangga aku mempresent layout blog-ku yang baruuu. Yea-yea-yea *para-para dance*. Ada Henry di pojok, Yuto di bawah, Yama-chan di kiri, dan JUMP di pojok kanan. Horeeeeee :)
Sekarang mulai ngerti deh apa enaknya punya blog. Tapi nggak tau juga bisa bertahan berapa lama betah ngeblog...

Lately, minat membaca komikku bertambah dengan sangat buas. Secara, udah baca dan ngumpulin beratur-ratus komik dari TK sih--tapi syukur, karna aku hobi baca, vocabku jadi banyak. Nulis cerita nggak kerasa susah lagi, mau mbacot juga enaaaaak banget karna tinggal mikir kata-kata gombal, langsung deh jadi. Termasuk dalam nulis fic, ini ngebantu banget lho. Trims manga! *ditendang sama mama kebanyakan baca komik*

Mungkin ada yang pingin tau kenapa aku kasih title blog ini "Just Go Bald, Kurosaki" -- ini aku quote dari salah satu manga favoritku, Dengeki Daisy (Electric Daisy versi Indonesianya) -- tiap kali Teru berantem sama Kurosaki, dia pasti bilang, "Just go bald, Kurosaki!" (~~"Botak aje lu, Kurosaki!" versi Betawi~~). Teru juga sering nyanyiin lagu ciptaannya, lagunya gini; "Go bald.. go bald.. go bald you Kurosaki Tasuku.." dan karna aku pikir itu lucu, ya udah aku jadiin title aja. *Sori, Kurosaki--bukan berarti aku doain kamu cepet botak. Piss*

Besok pagi kayaknya nggak ada ulangan -- tapi Selasa harus kencengin sabuk pengaman buat belajar MTK Pak Ratno. =_=;
Pelajari lingkaran.. lingkaran... huff.

Oh, semoga keajaiban dateng deh besok Selasa. Semoga juga nggak harus ketemu dia sama koloninya itu. Capek nih sok-sokan nggak peduli. Mau frontal wae po piye? Kalo iya, aku bakal terang-terangan buang muka di depanmu, dan nggak akan pernah nyapa kamu sampe kita lulus. Hn. Sounds cool. Harharharhar. Kamu emang cocok sih jadi anak baik -- jadilah anak baik terus, oke? Gitu malah lebih bagus buat aku. Reminder. Jadi setiap kali aku ada niat buat marah-marah di depanmu, sekali liat muka anak baikmu itu aku pasti nggak jadi marah, jadi aku nggak buat dosa. *marah-marah lagi. baru M, jadi harap maklum :)*

Hn.

Kayaknya segini dulu ya? Capek =_=;
Saatnya beralih ke facebook.

Ittekimasu~

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current music    : Sorry Sorry by Super Junior
current mood    :
- annoyed
current place      :   Rama-Net *ROFL*

3rd Post

2009-10-04T07:22:00.000+07:00

Almost 7 a.m.

Guess what?

Ternyata sebab kenapa dua hari berturut-turut kemaren kerjaan aku cuma marah-marah doang itu gara-gara... PMS. Crap. I'm on period and yet, I still wondering why I noticed it too late? Pantesan aja bawaannya kemaren cuma merengut, merengut, nggak semangat garap apa-apa. Marah-marah gak ceto, bikin repot semua orang. Tapi aku nggak nyesel, sih. Harharharhar.

Kemaren aku diskusi banyak sama fitha (temen sekelasku yang aku bilang penulis di fanfiction.net dan bahasa Inggris dia sumpah fabulous banget -- kapan ya aku bisa kayak gitu? T.T). Aku selalu kagum sama dia -- dari kemampuannya menilai cerita, grammarnya yang wow, dan sikap tegasnya kalo ngritik cerita orang. Dia nggak pernah basa-basi. Kalo jelek ya dia bilang jelek, kalo emang bagus ya dia ngakuin -- dan dia nggak pernah sakit hati kalo ceritanya dikritik, bahkan dengan bahasa paling pedes sekalipun. Aku juga pingin kayak gitu. Bukannya aku nggak suka dikasih review yang isinya pujian (thanks buat semua yang udah review ^^), tapi dengan itu aku jadi kekurangan motivasi buat nulis. Aku kadang-kadang bingung dan susah cari pegangan buat membikin alur... sekali-kali, aku butuh kritik pedes juga kali ya...

*sigh*
aku baru sadar.. tiga postingan ini semua isinya tentang fanfic.. haha. lagi addicted banget, sih. harap maklum, ya ^^

Mid-semester udah deket dan aku sama sekali nggak punya niat untuk belajar. Payah banget. Butuh emulsi buat penyemangat belajar nih. Apa ya? Yuto? Henry? Malah nggak bisa konsen ntar (isinya drooling melulu). Aku termasuk tipe yang nggak suka belajar (emang ada yang suka ya??), padahal kata mama sebenernya aku bisa lebih pinter kalo mau tekun sedikit (ya iyalah).

Jadi kesimpulannya mau belajar nggak ya?

*twinking at my laptop*

*sigh heavily*
Like I care about mid-test. Muakakak!

Ohayou, world. Selamat menikmati hari Minggu yang (mungkin) indah!

----

current music : Ohayou (OST Hunter x Hunter)
current mood :
- peek-a-boo

current place : in my room

2nd Post

2009-10-03T12:14:00.000+07:00

Hell-o, world.

Pelajaran TIK banyak yang bolos. Semua anak make komputer buat mainan game, buka fb, nonton youtube (not porn movies, trust me), ada juga yang jerat-jerit nonton vid SuJu. Sementara aku--yah, sungut-sungut nggak jelas, sepuluh jari ngetik pake emosi.

I'm blogging.

Topik bahasan hari ini :

*sigh* Mungkin sudah waktunya aku bilang ke dia dengan jelas, "Kimi o daikirai. Sugoku kirai da na."

Dulu mungkin kita emang pernah cukup deket--well, mungkin sedeket hubungan Yamajima di masa lalu. Kita sering banget share soal HSJ, bagi-bagi harta, memuja mereka bareng, berimajinasi edan juga. Bahkan ide C.R.E.E.D sebagian juga idenya.

But C.R.E.E.D, as you know guys, is FADING.

Aku nggak peduli lagi. Bukan salah dia atau salahku C.R.E.E.D mandek di tengah jalan. Tapi yang pasti, aku udah siap dengan ini. C.R.E.E.D nggak ada artinya kalo yang bertanggung jawab atas itu cuma satu orang. I won't say I'm sorry or such things--tapi memang aku sengaja menghindari dia. Mungkin aku yang berubah, mungkin dia. Aku nggak tau dia udah denger kabar apa soal aku, tapi yang jelas aku pingin negasin, AKU BAIK-BAIK AJA TANPA KAMU. Mungkin dengan kamu membenci aku semua bakal jadi lebih mudah buat aku--aku jadi tau dengan jelas dan nggak usah mikirin itu. Too troublesome, tau nggak?

Ok, jadi intinya, i just wanna say; mari kita hentikan C.R.E.E.D aja. Rasanya udah nggak enak lagi bikin cerita tentang mereka dengan keadaan kita yang seperti ini. Oke? Oke. ^^

Aku selalu ngerasa kita berdua punya banyak kemiripan dengan YamaJima. Kita dulu deket--pas waktu YamaJima juga lagi deket-deketnya. And now, seiring dengan nggak terkenalnya pairing itu lagi, kita pun juga jauh. Wah. Mungkin aku anggep aja ini berkah--kehidupanku sama kayak kehidupan Yuto. Cool.

--

Buat yang baca, entah siapa pun itu, maaf kalo isi postingan ini cuma marah-marah doang. Habisnya bener-bener deh pengen datengin orang itu terus tanyain semuanya. Tapi intinya, ini hidup aku--hidup yang--*sigh* entah deh, normal atau nggak.

Yang pasti, persahabatan itu sama sekali nggak trustworthy.

1st Post

2009-10-02T19:44:00.001+07:00

Ini bukan pertama kalinya aku ngeblog.

Tapi ini memang PERTAMA KALI aku SERIUS ngeblog.

I used to post in English--tapi sehubungan dengan hari aku ngepos adalah hari di mana Indonesia sedang berjuang mematenkan batiknya, sebagai warga negara yang baik--aku bakal terus mendukung, salah satunya ya pake bahasa indonesia waktu ngeblog. Tapi nanti-nantinya ada beberapa postingan yang memang pake bahasa Inggris. Still, i have lots to work on :(

Aku cuma anak SMA biasa, yang kebetulan dikasih nama sama dengan salah satu judul lagu ST 12--dan itu cukup bikin trauma karena sejak itu namaku disalahgunakan (baca: diejek) jadi silakan tebak sendiri siapa namaku.

Lahir 4 Juni 1993, Gemini. Likes : Hey! Say! JUMP, bishounen, nulis cerita, design baju, nyanyi. Dislikes : temen yang terlalu deket, bahasa alay.

Mood-ku sekarang nggak begitu bagus buat ngepost apapun, tapi mau nggak mau lembar perkenalan kudu di isi. Aku nggak begitu peduli juga ada yang mau baca blogku atau nggak, karna pada dasarnya blog isinya cerita pengalaman kita sehari-hari--dan aku harus jujur, pengalamanku sehari-hari ya cuman itu-itu aja, monoton, nggak menarik.

Kadang aku bingung, aku ini wajar nggak sih?

Aku bener-bener nggak suka sama yang namanya punya sahabat. It's suck, really. Buat aku emang lebih baik jangan terlalu deket sama orang sebelum pada akhirnya kamu tersakiti. Aku bukannya kesepian--nggak, nggak sama sekali. Aku jauh lebih suka baca buku daripada harus 'menjalin persahabatan'--karena kata-kata di buku nggak akan menyakiti.

Geez. Lupain aja deh tulisan di atas--itu cuma tulisan orang gila kayak aku yang baru emosi.

Anyway, fanfic-ku di forum Lets Jump udah diupdate (Over The Fantasy). Satu pelajaran yang aku dapet dari pengerjaannya : jangan pernah terlalu OVER-ACTED dalam mengerjakan sesuatu hal. Feelnya bakal cepet ilang dan aku jadi kehilangan arah kayak gini. Payah. Mataku pegel karna seharian buka internet, browsing tentang model-model weapon yang bakal dipake di OTF. Semua harus realistis--kalo kamu mau karyamu dihargai gitu kata ayahku.

Salam perkenalan ini nggak jelas.

Oke, lain kali bakal aku ulang deh.

Oyasumi.